Dear (Momma), March 1st, 2007

I wanted to tell you that I am happy about our conversation a week ago where you openly and finally told the truth about lying throughout our relationship. It was big of you to do so, and it is nice to see that you understand that it is in fact what you did to me, and the cause of a lot of unwarranted pain.

However, it has created a nasty side-effect. By you doing so, it has confirmed each and every complaint that I made throughout this entire time that we have known each other. It is like spending a lot of time, slowly putting something together, and finally finishing it. Your revelation has given me some peace now, but I'm afraid that it has also made me so astonishingly angry and hateful, that I cannot deal with you any longer.

I have never lied to you throughout our relationship, and I will not start now. So since you finally displayed courage in coming clean with the truth, I wish to do the same for you. I told you a while back that you will always be in my heart. This is an unchangeable fact, as I have told you that all women that are special to me are located there. Unfortunately in your case, you occupy the most nasty, black, hateful, angry and disgusting part of my heart. All of my anger, frustration, hatred, rage and boorishness now has a name--it is momma.

I cannot believe that you have had the courage to yet again say something so sickening. Admitting that you do wrong first, but by your own words, "eventually tell the truth". This is exactly what a sociopath does, momma. You have made me so extremely angry now, that I can no longer bring myself to communicating with you any longer. I am now wholly convinced that from here onward, no matter what comes out of your mouth, it is likely going to be a lie. I was so hopeful that you would escape that behavior, but after two years, you still do it. You are not as mature as you say you have become now.

Since my hatred for you is so overwhelming, here is what I want you to know and do: First, I suggest that you have your lawyer examine this document. Second, ask your lawyer how I can submit DNA without traveling to Illinois, for I am in fear that going there will be setting myself up to be beaten up by your hostile family members.

Third, request of your lawyer to send papers that will allow me to sign away all of my rights in regards to Anna. My anger is so total and definitive, that I wish to no longer even hear your voice, or know anything about you from here on to my own death. I find you totally repulsive, mentally unstable and untrustworthy, and I feel that you will be nothing but nasty towards me for the next 18 years.

I highly suggest that you accept my offer. You will have all the power over our child like you wanted. I am going ahead and giving you what I know you want. If for any reason, you wish to contact me, you must do it only through email, as I will no longer accept phone calls from you. I am sick to death of you calling past 11pm, knowing full well that I go to sleep early. It is rude for you to do so, and I am tired of it. Many times in the past, I would call you very early in the morning, and it would piss you off. So please extend the same curtousey.

When this all started, all I wanted us to do was to work as a team, but teamwork is nothing you have ever cared for doing with me. You ultimately want everything done exactly your way, and I am now offering you this opportunity. So I must say clearly, that if you do not do these things, I will ask my father's attorney to make sure that this happens. Our daughter will be yours, and you will win. You will win, momma.

I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night, sick to death with worry about Anna, and hating her mother of whom I do not trust; and tired of only tears putting me back to sleep.

Remember when the X-hubby and I confronted you about lying about your marital status? Remember what I told you in my car, and occassionally throughout the rest of our relationship? That I did not have full trust in you, and that you needed to earn it back. Not only have you not earned it back, but you have proven to not care to even get any of it back, despite the serious issue of an innocent child being involved. I cannot request that this changes in you any longer. I no longer care.

I am not giving up on our daughter; I am giving up on you.

I think that you are an evil, vindictive, worthless piece of shit of which I could care less if you get hit by a bus or choke on (new boyfriend's) dick. You must pat yourself on the back, because you are now my most hated person on the entire planet earth. I have irreversible damage done by you, and it will not go away. I am in fear that by you remaining in my life, I will never heal from this.

This is why I no longer want anything from you. I think you are sick, need a deep psychological investigation, and placed in a padded room. Not to be mean, but rather, to tell my true feelings and assessment of you. I think you are not human, and the first time I called your mother after you said you were pregnant, she supported me when I said that you showed signs of a sociopath, a psychotic, someone with borderline personality and bi-polarism. She told me that it was all in your medical files.

I no longer have a desire to withstand the same kind of psychological punishment you administered over this two-year period for the next 18 years. Congratulations, you are now entirely free to lie to yourself, others and even our daughter without any interference from me.

Having me believe Anna was dead for 12 days is terminally sickening. You can lie to yourself all you wish that you didn't mean it in a sickening manner, when in fact the records will show that you did. Regardless, this is a classic sociopathic statement and purely evil.

I now have also realized that I told you the truth that I'm really not mad at you for what you have admitted to doing to me throughout our relationship. You have confirmed that you are a very sick person who only deserves my utter hatred. And it is sad that you will use a baby as a bargaining tool, a whip, and most importantly, as a weapon.

I also recall a time when you questioned "what have I done" with regards to your pregnancy. Since you initially demanded to keep me out of it all, I put together a plan. I saved my money for a nice computer. I finally had the lay-a-way paid completely off in 1.5 months, and took my computer home. I went officially online in mid-to-late September of 2006.

After 'plinking' around for about a week or so, I found a blogger site program. I signed up, and started writing blogs. While I wrote my blogs, I also did the following:

What I Have Done For Nine Months...
(no particular order)


1) Made contact with Illinois Legal Services. Was told that they do not help those that are not Illinois citizens.

2) Made contact with Indiana Legal Services. Was initially ignored. Then told that they do not have jurisdiction.

3) Made contact with Illinois Pro-Bono Services. Ignored.

4) Made contact with Indiana Pro-Bono Services. Told that Indiana does not have jurisdiction.

5) Made contact with Indiana Attorney General's Office. Responded to within two weeks. Told that they could do nothing because of jurisdiction, but offered ideas.

6) Made contact with Illinois Attorney General's Office. Initially ignored. Then after about five months and after Anna's birth, sent by snail-mail, a list of people who may help, but they are people who have already ignored me, or have told me that I am not an Illinois citizen.

7) Made contact with Community Legal via online. Signed up, and was told they would help me. They never made me a client and took my money for no services rendered. They were fired.

8) Made multiple attempts for online free legal advice; most of which were returned as unanswered.

9) Contacted by phone and fax, Maury Povich. Was told to get a public defender, then was hung up on.

10) Sent letter to local newspaper to the "Dear Annie" section. Ignored and never responded to or printed.

11) Sent letter to Pastor John Hagee about my situation. Responded to with helpful prayers and hope.

12) Sent mass emails to multiple custody attorney's in Illinois. Three out of twenty responded. Only one offered help at 500$ as a retainer. Have not re-contacted the only one who offered this help. Cannot afford services.

13) Spent countless hours on research of the Illinois custody laws in pursuit of self-representation and the Illinois law.

14) Spent countless hours on research of the Indiana custody laws in pursuit of self-representation and the Indiana law.

15) Signed up for the Illinois Putative Father Registry; in fear, as stated by you, that you would allow boyfriend to adopt our child.

16) Signed up for the Indiana Putative Father Registry; in fear, as stated by you, that you would allow boyfriend to adopt our child.

17) Contacted National Brotherhood of Father's Rights. Recieved mass emails about possible options and helpful tools. Could not afford actual services, but thankful about options.

18) Contacted private investigator to check into whether or not mother was pregnant. Could not afford services.

19) Contacted the law offices of Cordell and Cordell. Had one-hour counsiltation with attorney. Could not afford services.

20) Created blogsite:
http://www.xenosapienprl.blogspot.com/

21) Created Website:
http://www.xenosapien.com

22) Paid friend to draw the following picture:
[See main picture above]




Lastly, I must inform you that if you and your lawyer submit this email to any judge, it could be unwise, as you will be admitting all of these things as fact, and this could lead to many nasty outcomes on your end.

If this email has made you angry to the point where you wish to take the law in your own hands, like you have already threatened to do, and send family members after me for a "beating", please let them know the following:

There are two befriended Sherriff's where I live. One of whom has been briefed on my situation, and lives in the very next building to mine. He is only one phone call away, and usually home.

Let who you send to do your dirty work (of which you have a history of making people do, including your own daughters) know that my County jail is one of the worst county jails in the entire country. And from what I've been told, a bullet in the head is far more preferred by those who have spent time there.

Also, let who you send know that I have a military friend who has many friends who materialize out of thin air, and their revenge will be guaranteed swift and decisive.

Also, make sure that you are aware that you have active harassment charges on you here in Indiana Sherriff's Department, September twenty-first, 2006.



Momma
-Legal History Overview-
1997-2006

[ Momma's criminal record can be found on here in the article starting with, "I realize that it has been a while since I've written a new post."]



Plans I Made:

Plan A Make an appeal to do all of this as a team.

Plan B Fight for full-custody.

Plan C Prove her unfit; fight for full-custody.

Plan D Prove her unfit; fight to put child up for adoption.

Plan E Sign away all of my rights.






The final bottom line is this, momma, mother to our daughter Anna: I'm not interested in the opinion of the Court of Man; for I will be vindicated in the Court of God.


XenoSapien

I've spent some time thinking about the next article to write about here on the Forest. I've decided to keep it alive, and continue writing even though conversation between momma and I has been completely severed.

I decided that I would let you in on what a man that was put in my position, under this great adversity experienced the whole nine-months of the pregnancy. The following that I have written is our communication throughout the pregnancy time period:

June 2nd, 2006 Doctor's assessment 'Night of Conception'.

June 24th, 2006 Drove to Illinois, witnessed momma taking pregnancy test; 10pm Illinois time.

July 2nd, 2006 Momma lets me know of the baby's due date: Feb. 23rd, 2007.

July 17th, 2006 Momma tells me that she aborts baby.

July 18th, 2006 Had one-hour consultation with Cordell and Cordell.

July 29th, 2006 Momma tells me that the baby still lives.

July 30th, 2006 Momma tells me she will announce engagement to new boyfriend to her family.

August 11th, 2006 Momma says she accidentally called, meant to call her aunt who has my same name.

August 16th, 2006 Momma tells me that her doctor says there is a possibility of twins.

August 18th, 2006 Had long phone conversation. Made appeal to be present at moment of birth.

August 31st, 2006 Called for ultra-sound request. She refuses to mail it, but says that I have to drive to Illinois to pick it up. Agreed to come to Illinois September 9th.

September 3rd, 2006 Momma calls and says she wants me to move to Illinois. Says how nice she'll be. Almost begs; says she picks me over new boyfriend/fiance.

September 4th, 2006 Momma calls and tells me her mother has Lupus, and has one year to live. Tells me its ok if I don't move to Illinois, but she won't let the baby stay in Indianapolis overnight.

September 8th, 2006 Very emotional night. Momma explains that she only loves boyfriend as a friend and wants to give up on being pregnant.

September 9th, 2006 The day I was supposed to drive to Illinois to pick up ultra- sound picture. Instead, stayed at home and talked to her on the phone. Negative, hateful and bitchy mood as usual. Nothing in her has changed.

September 13th, 2006 Leave a 'gamble' voice message, saying that I think she is lying based on her history with me.

September 19th, 2006 Momma says she just now got my message, and tells me that I can stay away from she and her baby.

September 20th, 2006 Nasty phone conversation from the both of us. She says she will file harassment charges if I call again. I say I will file harassment charges if she calls again.

September 21st, 2006 Momma calls early morning. Harassment charges filed.

September 30th, 2006 Momma calls to tell me the sex of the baby, but assumes that I don't care to know. I remind her of the harassment charges.

November 19th, 2006 Mysterious voicemail from a 'restricted' phone number.

November 24th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at noon.

December 1st, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 2:30pm.

December 2nd, 2006 Momma calls and says she needs to tell me something about the baby; 11:30pm.

December 5th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 2:30pm.

December 6th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 1:30pm.

December 24th, 2006 Momma's youngest daughter calls to wish me a Merry Christmas; says to call mom when I get this message; 10:58pm.

December 31st, 2006 Momma calls at 5:32 am. I do not answer.

January 6th, 2007 Called momma's mom at 10am. Wanted me to not call her anymore; that the issue is between momma and I. Tells me she believes the baby to be the X-husband's. I sacrifice my harassment charges and call Momma almost an hour later. We have a two-hour discussion, and she still insists on doing it the hard way, catering the advice of her mother. Talks about moving to Atlanta or Florida.

January 12th, 2007 I call Momma again. Had discussion with no fighting. I again pursue doing all of this the easy way. She says that I should have thought of that before I stated that we would take it to court. I repeated that I only announced court because she threatened that I would never know our child. Momma agrees to allow communication once a week.

January 21st, 2007 Momma calls about the Bears and Colts in the superbowl. Stable to good conversation.

January 24th, 2007 I call momma at 10:30am Indiana time. Stable conversation. Make half-serious attempt to have her move
to Indiana. Still firm about the idea that I should have moved
to Illinois the minute I found out I was to be a father.

February 2nd, 2007 Momma calls. Stable conversation. Tells me the baby is born--then admits to just kidding around.

February 3rd, 2007 Momma calls at 12:50 am. I do not answer.

February 11th, 2007 My website "Babies As Weapons" is launched.

February 16th, 2007 Momma calls around midnight, tells me my daughter was born on the 15th. Also admits that she doesn't know me.

February 19th, 2007 I call momma. She tells me she's on the other phone, then hangs up on me.

February 21st, 2007 Momma calls around 2:30pm, but my phone says "no duration".

February 23rd, 2007 Momma calls around midnight. Admits lying about the actual date of baby's birth. Also admits that she knows she has lied to me many times. After three hours, she sends
six pictures of the baby.

February 24th, 2007 Momma calls at 1:30am. I do not answer.

********************************

I know that it is true that during the pregnancy period, the mother is on a "hormonal roller-coaster". Hence, inconsistent, erratic behavior is expected. However, if you were to read my previous posts that are all before momma's pregnancy, you'll find that her behavior is already inconsistent and erratic. There is no difference between her behavior during pregnancy or before her pregnancy.

This dangerously-wild nature is actually who she really is; the pregnancy inspired nothing but her nastiness to rise to its full potential.

XenoSapien

I cannot believe that I am writing another blog. For some reason, I thought I would only write 10 articles, as not much more would inspire more. But with some recent events, I don't have any choice.

My daughter was born on February 20th, 2007 around 2pm. I was intially told by the momma that she was born on the 15th of February, around 8am. Momma was just looking for some kind of reaction when she lied to me around midnight on the 16th. She admitted that she lied on the 23rd of February, also around midnight.

I cannot stop being amazed by the mother's lack of truth-telling, as well as disregard for doing the right thing first. I am constantly amazed how lying about something this serious has her feeling as though it is no big deal.

Through the course of our several-hour conversation on the night of the 16th, momma reveals that she does not in fact know me. Astounding. You date somebody for a year-and-a-half, and finally decide that you don't know them. You spent all this time telling them how much you love them; yet you don't know them. The lies will never stop with her; and what a class "A" sick person you are for making a man believe that you did.

On the night of the 23rd, when she revealed that she had lied about the baby's birth, she also told me some other things. She came clean that she is now aware that she has lied many times to me throughout our relationship, and admits to not knowing why she did this to me. I bit my tongue as she made another 'gifted' attempt at self-exonneration: that she treated me the way that she did because she thought that I wanted a party girl, and felt that if she would remain a party girl, that I wouldn't give up on her or us.

This is beyond sick and stupid, and just another sociopathic angle she is making to exonnerate herself from the wrong she did to me. She knows I have a consistent schedule. She knows that I get up every morning, on the weekend or not, no later than 7am. She knows that I go to sleep everynight before 11pm. She knows that my intention was for us to be married and to settle down. There are virtually no times when I wanted to go and 'kick-it' with my friends at a club.

This is her latest attempt at lying to herself, which is more dangerous than lying to others.
Have I not made this clear enough about the mother? What kind of judge can believe this woman's degree of maturity, as well as willingness to tell the truth and be a good mother?

Momma, you have just shown and proven how much of a liar you are, and how far you will take your lies to get people to believe you. You have just shown the quintessential stripper mentality by trying to 'write off' your ill treatment towards me. And if you think I will sit and do nothing to stop you from having full custody, you have another thing coming. And by the time this trial is over, you will definitively know who I am.

XenoSapien