Sunday, January 04, 2009

[Actual Post Date: 1/07/07]

It has been a long time since I've posted another article. I have been very busy
with work, life, and preparing myself for the upcoming court battle.
I negated my harassment charges to speak with her one last time to try to work together on our child. We spoke for almost two hours, and some of our conversation was normal. But mostly, it was about how she will not work together on this, and that it is easier to just make me fight.
I did learn that I will be a father to a baby girl. I'm very excited about this, but as usual, all of my excitement is dwarfed by a reminder of who the mother is.
After our conversation, I reflected on all the times that she asked me for another chance to make our relationship work when I terminated it; and I believed her words that she would change the behavior that caused our split-up, and gave in. From day one when she lied to me about her marital status, she begged for me not to give up on us, and I didn't. I am so frustrated by her inability to do the same for me. But this nasty nature is who she is. All for her, nothing for others.
What is also interesting is she still psychologically exonerrates herself from doing anything bad or wrong. She made mention of when she told me she would mail me the aborted fetus. She has made herself believe that she was just saying that because of being frustrated by my persistence of wanting to be a dad, and said that in a joking manner.
This is very far from the truth. It was by text message, it was during a heated exchange, and she meant for it to hurt. But sociopath's don't care who they hurt, that's why it doesn't matter to her what she says to people.
What was also interesting was that she apparently believed all this time that I didn't want to be a part of our child's life. And that I was the one who pushed for going to court. Yes, I sure did. That was because she was telling me over and over again how she would run away with the baby, and I would never find her or the baby, and never know my own daughter.
I had to deploy the court option because the Oven was determined to keep me out of our child's life. She is making it out to sound as though I was determined to take it to court, and made this decision unprovoked. This is just another testimony to the constant lies she tells herself. She knows that I have been doing everything to try to be a part of this from day one.

And I only said we'd go to court because she continued to refuse to work with me. This woman is very sick, and needs to be institutionalized.
Now I just sit and think as to why I ever believed any word that she ever said. Why have I allowed such a sick person into my life. Why did I ever believe she was ever capable of being a decent human being, instead of the soulless monster I've found her to be.
I am now re-inspired to do all I can to fight for custody of our child. The Oven's mental influence inflicted on any child is dangerous, and I can't just sit still and do nothing.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

After reading only a few lines of your blog, I'm amazed that you would even put yourself through so much drama. Just drop the bitch from your life, move to another state, and start livin'. Aint no way I'd put up with even a night of that shit.

1:22 AM  
Blogger xenosapien said...

The good thing is, I'm already in another state. I really should have dropped her when I got the first clues, anon; you're right. She begged like a child tho for me not to give up. Guess I may have felt too sorry for her pathetic disgusting a**. XenoSapien

5:25 AM  

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