XenoSapien Forest

2009-01-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 9/26/06]

Hey world, not all men want to run away from the responsibility of raising a child they may have created! Even when the father and mother want nothing to do with each other. This standard general perception must change. It should be made possible that if a man believes he impregnated a woman, there should be some type of process that he can go through to acquire medical data on the child he may have conceived. I understand it's a woman's body, but nine months compared to the next 50 years or so? A child is NOT just about the first nine months!

I understand their is a surplus of dead-beats out there giving the real men a bad name, which ostensibly must change too. Because the men who want to be daddies are being tortured by the not knowing and hence are rendered legally impotent. The men that really want to be dads are being persecuted and kept powerless.

2009-01-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 9/28/06]

Now that you have read my very first blog, the one that really shows the inspiration behind it all, I feel it's time to tell you a little about me as well as the birth mother with when we first met.

I am just a regular guy who goes to work everyday of the week. For a long time, I have been what I like to call a 'Fred Flinstone', and refused to ever be on line; even at the threat of the government. Any of my friends that know me well will support my comment. I believed that I was doing fine without computer access, and combining that with my 'survivor-no-matter-what' modus operandi, I never cared to even examine the idea.

Then I met her, had ups and downs, and have decide to become George Jetson. This meeting, no doubt, is one of the most profound events that has ever occurred to me in my whole life. I never saw it coming, as is usually the case when I meet someone special. And as I am going through all this now with a possible child on the way, I have been writing a journal to my unborn child. In it, I tell my child the whole story about its mother and I. I re-read it a hundred times, and realize that it is the best description of al the events about us. So with that in mind, I thought I would share an excerpt from that journal:

"...On November 22nd, 2004, I met a woman of such great

presence, power and potency, that all that I called my

world disintegrated instantly and morphed into a vision

only previously dreamed about by likely droves of men.

A surreal existence of a human being that humbled

most men, as this woman emitted a vibe without saying

a word or shifting a somatic motion of any kind. Truly,

my attraction and interest was automatic and definitive.

At this time, I was in Illinois on a new career opportunity.

An opportunity that I anticipated as a big step up in my

field of work, as I was promised further knowledge I had

beforehand asked for. This eventually turned out to not

be the case, but I stuck it out for as long as I thought

I could. But what I never believed would happen in all

my wildest dreams and nightmares actually did. I met

your mother.

As I hopefully wish, you are aware that my birthday is

November the 21st. And if you are also aware of my

field of work as a maintenance technician, you know

that there are times when my job requires me to take

what is called 24-hour emergency call. They give you

a pager or cell phone, and it is your responsibility to

answer these devices at any time to know when

someone needed your help. On my actual 32nd birthday,

which fell on a Sunday, I was on my last night of emergency

call. So when Monday the 22nd was born, I took the

night to celebrate my birthday a day late.

Being a single man at that time and previously noticing

this establishment within the first month that I had set

foot in Illinois, I decided that I would go alone to this

gentleman's club to celebrate this occassion. Up to this

point in my life, I had been to a gentleman's club only

once, and that was with friends and I was turning

30 years old.

I walked in like the rookie, but yes, a veteran of a regular

bar scene. So as I headed for the bar to order a drink,

I was stopped by a voice from behind me. I turned and

faced a man who asked me if I was a member, and I

replied no. He informed me that this was a members-only

night, and asked if I would like to be one. I said yes and

asked how much it would cost. He told me 20 dollars, and

that it would last for a year. I agreed, and followed him to

the desk by the front door he occupied. I then filled out

the paperwork to make it official, and he told me to have

a good time. I then reacquired my directive to go to

the bar and buy my first drink.

I moved to the bar and ordered a beer. The barmaid

served me my drink and I paid her the monies owed. Now

being a full-blooded male, my thoughts directed me to

take a look at the scantily clad female on the stage

dancing. I didn't even turn my head half of the way to

that direction before I caught the eye of the most

beautiful woman I had ever seen in all my life. For

a second, I thought I was looking at a young Janet Jackson.

This magnificent icon of beauty was wearing an ankle-long

purple dress, with Cleopatra straight styled jet-black

hair that danced with the center of her back. She was three

or four seats away from where I was at the bar and

looking right back at me. For a split second, my heart

jumped and my world paused and everything was

completely tuned out. There was nothing at all except

her. I had been instantly locked in.

So as to not look like I was staring, I continued to move

my eyes in the direction of the stage. I took a brief look

at the dancer working her dance of seduction, then moved

to the nearest table and sat down. I looked back to where

I saw the woman of my type of perfection, and noticed

that she had moved from the bar, and was approaching.

We again locked eyes, sending all available butterflies in

my stomach to fly boundless.

What was also striking was the speed of her movement. It

was noticeably slow, dream-like and surreal. With all this

already dad-perfect vision of exceptional beauty, something

equally powerful and overwhelming doubled the potent dose

already seen. Her smile would make Job smile in his darkest

hour. World peace could be achieved, perpetual motion

solved, and all mysteries of mankind realized just because

of this woman's smile. I previously never thought a smile

could be that strong and do so much. I was captured entirely.

She asked if she could sit down with me, and I most definitely

said yes. She did, and we conversed and continued to

talk for the rest of the night. She of course had to make

her money and do her share of the stage dancing, but

no matter what she did, she always returned to my table.

We asked each other all the right questions, laughed and

talked very well. Her presence and speech and everything

about her put me in a state of psychological utopian

peace. Only once before has a woman ever put me

in this state of mind.

I told a friend a type of description I had for your mother

once. It was like I was an archeologist seeking out

evidence of dinosaurs. And previously for thousands

of years, an extremely rare dinosaur was still trying

to be fully discovered. But up to this point, bones

that had been found and constructed for this rare

dinosaur had been put together with a missing bone.

A 'key' bone that completed the mankind-long puzzle

of this rare dinosaur. I discovered this bone on this

night celebrating my birthday, and it was named

********.

As the night grew late, I posed the question of asking her

for her phone number. This caused her to stutter

with the unintelligible "ummm", and I quickly

remedied with asking if I could give her mine. She

immediately said yes, and I did.

The most profound question that I asked all night was

the question of her marital status. She had told me that

her divorce was final as of about a week ago.

That her night was one of liberation and celebration, too.

I am a man who has always openly trusted people when

I first meet them. That I have no initial reason not

too, so that I always know that from the start, I was

open and non-judgemental. I gave her that 100

percent trust at day one.

The very next day, I recieved a phone call on my first

required 15 minute workday break. It was your

mother, with more questions and talk. We arranged

going to a regular bar together near the end of

this week and spending more time getting to know

each other. We did, and by both of our accounts,

was the best conversation we ever had in our one

year and seven month total history..."

I am currently reflecting on what I have written above. No matter what happens from here on out in my life; losing my mind in old age, this event will never be erased. Ever.

2009-01-11T18:02:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 10/02/06]

Well, it seems that I haven't shown enough about the baby momma, and why I have done all of this. I mean, yes, the header is my 'mission' statement, but it seems that folks want some concrete facts about why I am so inspired. And I can't blame you-- blog number two was very serene and beautiful about the meeting of myself and the baby momma. But if you didn't understand while reading, I was teaching myself on how to talk to a child. I have no children. This was my very first attempt at talking to a child that is my own. Do you really think that a child shoud read what I am about to type next? Ask yourself this when you are done reading...

So yes, I was lied too on day one. That is why I earlier mentioned the importance of the question I asked her in blog 2 about her marital status. And like I have already mentioned, I openly trust people on day one. I am not a person that likes to stamp stereotypes on people when I first meet them. Why should I? Is that fair? After all, you never know who you have met until you talk to them and get to know them better. I never gamble on first impressions.

It reminds me of a friend of mine who told me about someone he knew that was extremely wealthy. He had more money than he knew what to do with. He lived very modestly; he drove a car that constantly needed repair, lived in a middle-class neighborhood, and never bought extravagant items. He lived comfortable, but no where near what his monetary status would allow, yet definitely never looked abysmally poor. He was employed, but it wasn't a high position.

He met a woman who he soon fell in love with. She loved him too, and they spent a lot of time together--at least two years if I recall, correctly. She never had any idea about his great wealth, and had proven to love him for who he was. He finally asked her to marry him, and she said yes.

After all of the wedding and reception events and during the honeymoon, he sat her down on the bed. He told her that he was extremely wealthy, and that she would never have to work again. And as far as I have been told, they really have lived happily ever after.

So I gave baby momma that 100% trust. I gave her my open self on day one. I believed her. It took about 30 days before I discovered I had been played with and deceived. She lied.

What was most disheartening was that it took her over a YEAR to say, "I really hurt you by lying to you about being married. Gosh, I'm really sorry." A YEAR! A year to acquire a conscience about dispicable deception? To show that you actually give a damn? Spending all the time previously telling me that you love me, yet abstinant when it came to the profound damage you caused by that lie? Even all the times I mentioned how much it hurt throughout our relationship, you just NOW figure it out?

I sent a letter about a week ago to my local newspaper to the Dear ***** section. I haven't got a response, but I think that if you the reader have a doubt about the type of person my baby momma is, perhaps this will help:

Dear *****,

I am living a nightmare. I have impregnated exactly the wrong woman who can be easily mistaken for a demon. She loves to mess with your head, and has stated once that:

"I have aborted the baby, and I will
send you all the data, INCLUDING
THE ABORTED FETUS"

As far as I know, and strictly by her own words, she is still pregnant. I did, in person, witness her take the home pregnancy test and it came up positive. Her own mother agrees with my belief that her daughter suffers from bi-polar disease, sociopathic behavior, unparalleled hate, schizophrenia, and psychotic outbursts, all fueled by vindictive blood. All of these aforementioned afflictions are in actual medical files--of which I cannot retrieve for the court.

This woman has also cheated on every man she has been with in the past decade, aborted one child already, and dropped her other two beautiful children off at Grandma's to be raised.

Now I know what you are thinking. Why? Why did you stay with her for over a year? Why didn't you drop her like a bad habit?

Nobody in my 30+ years has ever so feverishly begged me of anything, with the most potent, penitent words. Profoundly genuine words that would convince most anyone; and likely any man. I also knew that I had a unique level of tolerance, and early on did want us to work out. But now the child is the only reason why I don't wish for her to get hit by a bus.

I am desperate to be a dad; a responsible, God-fearing, loving and role-model type of dad. I'm with Bill Cosby all the way. But she is doing all to stop me from seeing any data on our child, purposely keeping me in the dark to suffer the pain of not knowing.

I have been told by many that men are virtually powerless in the eyes of the law, and assumed to be dead-beats. I financially cannot afford a high-powered attorney, and I have already been ignored by legal aid. Yet I am still working myself to death with my job and other sources of money to fight for full custody.

If I don't get full custody, then society can count on a 'pants-to-its-knees, hat-to-the-side, without principles and possibly God', THUG walking the streets and causing mass chaos in the near future. My fears are overwhelming, and the not knowing is slowly killing me.

This should be a happy time. I should be wearing a permanent smile, and shoving cigars in mouths with excitement. But that joy is desecrated by the reminder of who the mother is. I am trying my best to give this all to God to figure out, but it is hard to work with Him when I am entirely in hell. How can I conduct business as usual with people in my every day with this black cloud over me?

Gotta breathe, now...more to come.

XenoSapien

2009-01-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 10/04/06]

This is an emergency blog!

Emergency because I have spent no time on proofreading, or waiting to publish. I believe it is necessary to make a statement regarding comments.

First off, I want to tell all people and organizations that if your comments are to promote a product, your management will be certain to hear from me. How insensitive are you to use this site as a tool to promote your likely worthless product!? This situation that I am dealing with is VERY REAL. You are sick, demented, and shallow to use something that is this serious to promote your product. Your management will hear from me.

Secondly, I must tell all of my real readers that if you want to condemn or comment on me making the choice to be with this girl in the first place, I would like for you to understand this: You are right, ok? I made a poor choice, no matter what. It serves absolutely no purpose, certainly not in regards to the purpose of this site whatsoever, to remark at all about my poor choice. Hind-site is always 20/20. It is irrelevant to talk about any of my poor choice in giving this woman a chance to be a part of my life, and redeem her own personal shortcomings. NOTHING is gained when you tell me how wrong I was to get with her. I already know this. It is obvious.

The purpose of this blog is for the now and the future, NOT yesterday. Keep in mind that it is pointless to do any criticisms in respects to involving myself with her at the start. Know that this does not do anything, and that I will only respond to you by saying re-read this article (officially blog4) I am writing now.

Nobody in my friends circle or family members for that matter wanted me to be with her. NOBODY supported my decision to be with her. NOBODY. I made this choice and mistake all by myself. Please don't point out the obvious. It progresses nothing. Thank you.

XenoSapien

2009-01-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 10/05/06]

I think it is time for a more upbeat article. I have an arsenal of negativity and could spend a great deal of time unloading it. But as a new friend pointed out, if I'm not wise and careful, it could kill me slowly. She is correct.

But I must make sure that I play both sides of the field; the positive as well as the negative. I appreciate a solid balance, and realize that it is a good choice for the purposes of this blog to have that approach. So I would like to let you know about one of the greatest things I think I have ever done. This is a very recent and current incident that I am very proud of.

To protect those involved, I will change their names. The first lady friend of mine, who I will call 'Doll Face' is sixteen and about four months pregnant (I'm not the daddy, just so you know:)). I know her parents quite well, and knew her before she got pregnant. In fact, to give a timeline, she got pregnant about one month after my baby momma did.

She and I have had a lot of time to know each other, and have progressed to the point where we can share very personal issues. I care about her a great deal, as she is a younger sister that I never had. She views me as an older brother that she never had.

But about two months into the pregnancy, and for many reasons that I don't need too mention, she came to me about termination of the baby. Ostensibly, it was hard for me not to blow up on her with that idea. Her reasoning was both mature and lucid. But I told her to hang on for a second, while I call a friend.

This friend is a longtime friend who I will call, 'Sweetness'. She, for many unnecessary reasons to mention, did not want to conceive a child from her womb. But vehemently in favor of being a mother, and desperately researching the idea of adoption. So I called Sweetness and let her know of Doll Face's situation.

Sweetness was overjoyed with excitement, and wanted to meet Doll Face immediately. Within an hour, my two friends met for the first time. And since that meeting, Sweetness has acquired temporary guardianship of Doll Face and Doll Face has agreed to let Sweetness have full custody of her baby to be.

I actually just saw the both of them together last night, and it always makes me feel good that I brought these two together. They both had a tough issue that needed resolution, and I acted like a matchmaker. These two, from both of their accounts, are hitting it off well and have discovered many similar traits with one another. I feel that I have saved a life and helped someone acquire life. This, I believe, is one of the best things that I have ever done.

2009-01-08T10:29:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 10/11/06]

Now that I have given you a starting sample of what I am about, trying to do, and a small dose of personal accomplishment, I think it is time to get the ball rolling with my prime directive so as to reinforce the mission statement on the top of the page of this blog.

I believe that so far, I haven't really driven home the idea why I am so inspired to do this. Why that the only reason that I saved my money for two months, bought a computer, got online, and have been entirely focused on the creation of a blog page. And if all that is mentioned up to this point is not good enough to convince you of my inspiration in my mission, here is yet more data that should inspire encouragement. And not just that, but why I feel I will be a better parent to my child as opposed to the mother. That full custody must be deployed. That if I don't, I will be in great fear of the mother's child-rearing tactics, and so should society for that matter.

I have decided, after this time of a blog entry drought, that the best showing of this idea is in showing the soon to be mother and father highlights. The pro's and con's of the both of us, and let you, the reader, be the judge and decide who is the better parent:

Dad; Positive Attributes:

-- Work 40 plus hours; also do side work.

-- Live where I work; secure in employment.

-- Possible (3) on-site babysitters.

-- Daycare center immediately adjacent to my workplace; prestigious hospital just across the street.

-- My bed time is usually 10-11pm; installed disciplined schedule.

-- Awake from sleep no later than 7am; no alarm clock needed, 'natural' riser.

-- My job requires me to be ready at a moment's notice. Like a doctor, I am engineered to be on-call 24 hours a day. A solitary baby cry will wake me up.

-- Profound solid upbringing; principles, morals and right from wrong installed. Believe it or not, I am the most honary of all my immediate family members.

-- Willing to give up all future hopes and dreams for the child's interest. The child's interest will now be my interest.

-- Clean physically; no std's or health conditions and have proof. Also have health and dental care.

-- Child will receive strong educational background. I honestly never received all A's, but the discipline to learn was overwhelmingly installed and I am never short of total effort. Also, all other family members are college graduates.

-- Can be employed nearly anywhere; never applied for unemployment.

-- Family members are raising and are potently experienced in raising children. Any question I may have is just a phone call away.

-- Been pro-active since learning I could be a father. Made no attempt to run from this responsibility.

-- Writing journal to unborn child to give the child the actual story of the mother and I.

-- Will install religious principles.

-- Child will learn strong work ethic--earning things in life.

-- Lack of criminal history.

-- Have small army of character witnesses.

-- Repeatedly asked mother to work together as a team on this issue; she refused, and even stated she wanted to do this the hard way.

Mother; Positive Attributes:

-- Currently states that she is in school to be a cosmetology teacher.

-- Has a very big family that can care for the child.

-- Has two children already (I can't help but to mention that her mother has raised these girls up to this point, so we are not that far apart in actual hands-on experience).

-- Clean physically; no std's or health conditions. Believed to have medical and dental insurance.

-- Frugal with money.

-- Has gotten many A's in school. Have seen proof.

-- Family members who are raising and are potently experienced in raising children. Any question she has is just a phone call away.

-- Possibly will install religious principles, or have her mother do it.

-- With a partner who has raised children of his own.

-- Can use quality judgment against even very great odds.

-- Has sufficient work ethic when employed.

Father; Negative Attributes:

-- Have no children.

-- Can be quite stubborn. I believe in profound proof.

-- Can be moody.

-- Not a monetary wizard.

-- Not good with too much change (this event however, is worthy too have change).

-- Raise voice when pushed too hard (actively sedating this).

Mother; Negative Attributes:

-- Advanced flirtation: Once we were at a club and she flirted with a guy right in front of me. Later says he was a cousin.

-- Lies: Lied about her marital status on day one. She also clearly broke a glass full of vodka, then vehemently denies it and acts as if she doesn't know anything about it immediately after it occurred.

-- Blameless: The time she trashed my apartment while I went out to get her food. Says that is was my fault that she did it. Also loves to raise voice, cutting you off in the middle of your sentences and hanging the phone up on you; especially when you are on the verge of proving her wrong. Early on I did have to request she treats me better when in public.

-- Sexually deviant: Admitted to then husband that she received oral sex in his house. Also wanted to break up for a day to have sex with another man, then get back together afterwards because we were 120 miles away from each other. Deliberately messed with me about being curious about sex with another woman. She has also cheated on every man in the past decade; has admitted to cheating on me with current boyfriend. She has admitted to liking the 'fight then fuck' scenario.

-- Violent tendencies: The time she stuck a knife to my heart, after I repeatedly told her that the 'playing around' was over. She did this in front of her then six year-old daughter. Admitted to enjoying being physically abusive towards me. Early on, used to smack me, then rationalizes that a real man wouldn't complain; ended up bloodying my lower lip. Once admitted that I was her 'favorite' beat-up toy.

-- Judgmental: Criticized the way I sit; criticized the way I drive. Admits she will blame all baby defects on me. Tells me that I have to dissolve relations with female friends, and makes this an ultimatum; later retracts. Also, the truth is the truth according to her.

-- Untrustworthy with given information: I opened up about the truth of my birth parents. This was used against me in the very next argument.

-- Slanderous: Called me just a sperm donor. Assumed I would be a dead-beat. Many times said how she hates me.

-- Lack of team-work: Threatened to run away with baby and that I would never know where she or the baby was. Admitted to knowingly push me away whenever she felt we were getting closer.

-- Sting operative motive: Refused to telling me (after asking FIVE TIMES) when, where and what time her initial doctor's visit was; then a few days after the visit, tells me that a real man would have been there. She is never totally definitive; so as to keep you in the dark as to what she really feels.

-- Demanding: Told me flat out that she wants to do all of this the hard way. Admitted to enjoying having total control of a relationship, and even proposed for me to let her have it.

-- Criminal history: Has a large one; was arrested within the past year and spent jail time. Stole 40 dollars from my wallet and vehemently swore that she was not a thief and how dare I accuse her. A few days later, she admits to finding money in her skirt. She also stole my favorite Christmas picture of us, then denies it.

-- Sociopathic: Took a full year before she understood how much it hurt me by lying about her marital status. Once recorded her and her x-husband having sex on my voicemail, then said it was an accident. Told me to tell my lawyers that they can fuck themselves and told me I can tell them she said so. Above doing the right thing, vindication is mostly her solution. She also has shown a pattern of doing wrong first, then attempting to do right only when you point it out to her.

-- Death-bed conscience: Admitted that I was the best man to ever walk into her life.

This is just what I have for now. I will, from time to time update and republish this blog, so be sure to check for these updates from time to time.

XenoSapien

2009-01-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 11/01/06]

It is said that pictures speak louder than words. This picture is the madness I have been going through for the past six months. Is this the type of mother the law defends? Is this what is best for the child? Is this what society wants? This picture really is what the mother is doing right now. How can I not need to fight to the very most bitter end to stop her from the acquistion of custody. This picture symbolizes why I cannot just sit still...

2009-01-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 11/06/06]

The time is 11:45 p.m., and I cannot sleep. I should be, so that I can work tomorrow, but my fury and anger have reached over the boiling point. Thoughts of the mother and our past, most of which was mentioned in post # six will not stop circling in my head. I have really tried to avoid the word, but I just cannot hold back the unspeakable hatred I have for the baby momma. From the ill-treatment she displayed throughout our relationship that was littered with lies and deceit, to now the power of silence offering not one solitary fact of our child. All the while knowing full well that doing so is killing me.

Her profound lack of a conscience, her willingness to hurt others and not let it be a second thought, and disgusting power-grab mentality and God-complex makes me wish to only vomit. Myself, and a handful of men of her past have stomached this waste of human flesh in hopes that she would understand that she hurts people, and perhaps a change of ways would be best for her. That any direct opposition to her type of thinking from others only enrages her, and eventually will force her to unleash the full-demon that she is; hence, forcing the man with her to only flee.

But myself, like the others who tried to stick-it-out with her wild and childish nasty ways, all held our tongues more feverishly than we should have had to, because we knew that she would learn more by us doing less to stop her incessant rants. It is a woman like this that is a symbol of what gives others of her sex a bad name. And to credit her with yet another sick statement, before I pursued the harassment charge, one of her last voicemails on my phone was, "Well, I was going to let you know the sex of the baby, but I guess you don't care". It is amazing how she will treat you like shit, then afterwards, acquire a borrowed conscience and actually say something decent. But that is just it. She has to do that in order to say anything decent.

However, sometimes I think that the only reason why I haven't acquired a hatred of all women is because I know that there are very few women that are this vindictive and sociopathic. That my baby momma is the epitome of uncontrollable hate, psychological madness and a disease of all the worst kind all in one. I have heard many stories about very cruel women, and less than the amount of fingers I have on one hand come close to this one.

You may have noticed, if you have read previous posts, that I will now be leaving the previous post picture at the top of each post. I don't know for how long, but I have a feeling it will be quite a while. It really defines everything that I am going through, everything that this blog embodies, and symbolizes why the court of law must look more favorably on the rights of fathers. Most especially when they are fighting tooth-and-nail on every front to be a part of their child's life; and more importantly, under the current severe persecution and prejudice that men are nothing but dead-beats.

I recently sent emails back and forth to a father's rights organizations' founder, and it was good for a little while. But he insisted that I really need to tone it down, and exploiting the issue like I am in my blog is not legally wise. That the court could get ahold of it, and more importantly the baby momma, and use it against me and I could lose any chance of being in my child's life at all.

But I remained unmoved. Sure, what I am doing in this blog probably isn't a good idea, and yes, he has a point. But there are many reasons why I don't feel that it would work against me. First of all, baby momma doesn't have any clue that I have a blog, let alone am online, let alone that I even have a computer. It is as I have stated many times before on here and to those around me: when I found out that my baby momma was pregnant, my entire world changed.

My life passed before my eyes, and I became an entirely different person virtually overnight. All of my dreams and hopes for the future were immediately cancelled, as I made my future child my hopes and dreams. That that is all I want, now. I don't care to have a fancy car, I don't care to have a fancy house, a good wife or girlfriend, and I don't care to have any more children. This situation, if my words haven't been enough, has been the single greatest poison pill I have ever swallowed. The thought of exclusive love, marriage and family has now been totally desecrated. Luckily, I am at the age where I have experienced a great deal in life. I have done a lot in these thirty-plus years, and I am content with my endeavors to date.

I also see the idea that it is well-past time for me to settle down. It is time for me to go from sixth gear back to second. It's time that I really let go of all the "young" things that I used to do or still do, and focus entirely on being the best father I could ever be. To work hard every day, and come home to my child and be in their life. Know how their day was, find out what they learned, discuss issues that are hard for the young to understand, and attempt to pass down knowledge that I have come to understand.

One thing that I do regret at this current time is that I haven't spent any time writing in my future child's journal. My anger and frustration level is at such an all time high, that it would be difficult to speak gently to my child. I don't want him/her to see me like this. I don't want him/her to know that dad is capable of this type of fury. And I don't want him/her to know what I really think of his/her mother.

The law research, the blogging, and the pursuit of more men's rights leverage continues...

XenoSapien

2009-01-05T13:55:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 12/02/06]

I realize that it's been a while since I've written a post. I've been very busy trying to get a lawyer, and researching the law in respects to custody and all that goes with it. What I was happy to get, and much thanks to the criminal public records department, is case numbers for thirteen crimes commited by the baby-momma. I'll try to remember as much as I can as to how she explained them to me.

With a friend's advice, I've also changed my reference term from "baby-momma" to "the oven". I've decided that the main theme is more important than my ill feelings towards the mother: Our baby.

---10/29/97

Count 01: Domestic Battery/Physical Contact; Class A Misdemeanor

This particular offense is one that says a lot to me. It wasn't just battery, it was battery on her OWN MOTHER. According to the docket information, "Defendant to have NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER with ******** *********."

We are talking here about a woman who already has two girls. Granted, at this current time and the last that I've heard, the oven is making plans to have these two girls move in the home along with her new boyfriend. These girls have been raised, for at least the past three years at the least by grandma, and now their mother will finally raise them like she should have all along.
But will these girls have a developed, life-long profound level of animosity, that they will end up doing the same thing to their mother? And will the child we have, should mom have custody, end up doing the same thing?

In March of 1999, the docket ends with saying that the "Court finds that the People have not proven their case".

---09/11/98

Count 01: Resist/Obstruct peace officer
Count 02: False report of offense

This docket talks about how "The Court notes Defendant is currently on 12 mos. Conditional Discharge in 97 ** **** for domestic battery."

In October of 1998, the oven tenders a plea of 'guilty' to disorderly conduct as set forth in Count 02. This plea was accepted by the court, and the oven spent two days in jail with no time served. Apparently, "On People's motion, Count 01 is dismissed."

---07/02/99
Count 01: Forcible Entry & Detainer

This charge is evidentally submitted by the Housing Authority. I had no idea about this one, but apparently it talks about her being evicted from a residence.

---08/27/99

Count 01: Resisting/ Obstructing Police Officer

It looks like a warrant was issued in March of 2000 for her arrest. But, as is the pattern, all charges were dismissed by July of 2001.

---09/08/99
Count 01: Driver's License Expired 6 Months or Less

I was never told about this one. But if I remember correctly, she has never had a license. And if I'm still correct, she still doesn't have one. She pled guilty, and was found responsible for fines and costs.

---09/08/99

Count 01: Operate Uninsured Motor Vehicle

And yes, charges dismissed. Pretty girl fools the system yet again.

---03/17/00

Count 01: Domestic battery/ contact/ prior
Count 02: Battery/ makes physical contact

Now, if I remember what she told me about this one, this is an attack on her first borns' father, who she abandoned at the alter. I'm not sure exactly, but I think this was her revenge for him breaking her jaw (of which I now know likely why he did it, and have a hard time personally blaming him for it); so she retaliated and got him back. I don't know his last name, so I'm not able to pull up his information, but I assume he had charges pressed on him too. But this is her second domestic battery charge.

In May of 2000, there is an appearance of the States Attorney on her behalf. By July, "Motion by the State to dismiss. No objection by the defendant. Motion is allowed. The indictment and each count thereof is dismissed and nolle pross'ed"; which means dismissed. I compared the file date and the offense date, and it seems that she spent three days in jail for this one.

---05/10/02 Count 01: Criminal Trespass to Land

A warrant was issued on 06/20/02. And apparently, this warrant was never served. Hence, the oven seems to still be wanted by the law. Granted it was almost five years ago, but this made me jump for joy. Regardless of whether the city cares to issue this warrant or not, the judge is GUARANTEED to learn of this one. There's another ace in my pocket.

--- 09/17/02

Count 01: Possession Amount of Controlled Substance (Except A/D) Class 4 felony

In October of 2002, a warrant for her arrest was issued with a bail set in the amount of $25,000. In November, she pleas not guilty and requests a trial by jury. Exactly thirty days later, she changes her plea to guilty of "unlawful possession of a controlled substance, a class 4 felony".

If I remember what she told me of this one, it was that she was hanging out with a dealer (no sex involved), and he got busted with her in the house. So basically, to some degree, she "ratted" him out, and escaped jail time. According to the docket, she was sentenced to 48 days in the county correctional facility, but was given credit for 48 days and given 24 months worth of probation.

On this same docket, in October of 2004, a probation violation report was placed on file. In April of 2005, another violation of probation was placed on file and the next day a warrant was issued for her arrest. 23 days later, she appears in custody to the court. By early November, an order of discharge from probation is entered.

I really wish that I could understand these dockets/legal data much better, because I think I'm probably leaving out a lot. But I am trying to learn, and by all means when she and I stand before the judge on this custody issue, the judge will be thoroughly briefed by my lawyer on these past offenses.

--- 11/06/02

Count 01: Driver's License Expired 6 Months or Less

Fines: $75.

--- 11/06/02

Count 01: Operate Uninsured Motor Vehicle

No suprise; just as I've found her to be: a repeat offender. And her state judiciary system is a joke. Fines and cost and that's it. Pretty girls with a cute body and ass do not deserve to be held accountable for their criminal behavior. Have a nice day!

--- 10/09/04

Count 1: Domestic Battery/ Contact/ Prior

In December of 2004, a warrant was issued for her arrest for this matter with a bond set at $5,000. This also had an appearance by the State's Attorney. In September of 2005, "On motion of the state this cause is ordered dismissed and stricken."

This domestic battery was her attack on the only man she ever married. A good guy who I actually met, but the details of this case for some reason, is quite hazy. I'm not exactly sure how it all went down, but I think that he ended up dropping the charges.

--- 04/07/05

Count 01: Knowingly damage property<$300 Count 02: Knowingly damage property<$300
It appears that she was in jail for this one for a period of 13 days. But again, "On motion by the People, with no objection by defendant, this cause is dismissed and nolle pross'ed. Bond, if any, is discharged."

I had no idea about this incident. If she did tell me, I definitely don't remember it.

Now these above are the only charges that I could find. But I'm positive that there is at least one more: Unknown. It is unknown because she refused to tell me what it was about, and that she just wanted me to bail her out; this also occured just this past year. I know that she was in jail for at least a week, and was desperate to get out. She hates jail, but it's amazing how I have concluded that she belongs there.

This is who the oven is. This is someone who I made a poor choice to interact with, and now that she is carrying my child, I'm sick with myself that I ever got involved with her at all. ANY WOMAN ON EARTH THAT TELLS ME THEY WILL "SNAIL-MAIL" ME AN ABORTED FETUS WILL SUFFER THIS SAME FATE.

I am shocked by the surplus of dismissals issued by this state's judiciary system. This woman is not an explosion waiting to detonate? This woman is a "fit" mother to already two girls? This woman deserves to be totally admonished of consequences in respects to her multiple disregard of legal authority, commits multiple counts of battery, and has by her own mother's words, medical documents that support my assessment of the mother's psychological behavoir? What kind of judge will allow her full custody?

And just so you know, my last run-in with breaking the law was disobeying a traffic sign, and a seat-belt violation about three years ago.

XenoSapien

2009-01-04T17:14:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 1/07/07]

It has been a long time since I've posted another article. I have been very busy
with work, life, and preparing myself for the upcoming court battle.

I negated my harassment charges to speak with her one last time to try to work together on our child. We spoke for almost two hours, and some of our conversation was normal. But mostly, it was about how she will not work together on this, and that it is easier to just make me fight.

I did learn that I will be a father to a baby girl. I'm very excited about this, but as usual, all of my excitement is dwarfed by a reminder of who the mother is.

After our conversation, I reflected on all the times that she asked me for another chance to make our relationship work when I terminated it; and I believed her words that she would change the behavior that caused our split-up, and gave in. From day one when she lied to me about her marital status, she begged for me not to give up on us, and I didn't. I am so frustrated by her inability to do the same for me. But this nasty nature is who she is. All for her, nothing for others.

What is also interesting is she still psychologically exonerrates herself from doing anything bad or wrong. She made mention of when she told me she would mail me the aborted fetus. She has made herself believe that she was just saying that because of being frustrated by my persistence of wanting to be a dad, and said that in a joking manner.

This is very far from the truth. It was by text message, it was during a heated exchange, and she meant for it to hurt. But sociopath's don't care who they hurt, that's why it doesn't matter to her what she says to people.

What was also interesting was that she apparently believed all this time that I didn't want to be a part of our child's life. And that I was the one who pushed for going to court. Yes, I sure did. That was because she was telling me over and over again how she would run away with the baby, and I would never find her or the baby, and never know my own daughter.

I had to deploy the court option because the Oven was determined to keep me out of our child's life. She is making it out to sound as though I was determined to take it to court, and made this decision unprovoked. This is just another testimony to the constant lies she tells herself. She knows that I have been doing everything to try to be a part of this from day one.

And I only said we'd go to court because she continued to refuse to work with me. This woman is very sick, and needs to be institutionalized.

Now I just sit and think as to why I ever believed any word that she ever said. Why have I allowed such a sick person into my life. Why did I ever believe she was ever capable of being a decent human being, instead of the soulless monster I've found her to be.

I am now re-inspired to do all I can to fight for custody of our child. The Oven's mental influence inflicted on any child is dangerous, and I can't just sit still and do nothing.

XenoSapien

2009-01-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 2/26/07]

I cannot believe that I am writing another blog. For some reason, I thought I would only write 10 articles, as not much more would inspire more. But with some recent events, I don't have any choice.

My daughter was born on February 20th, 2007 around 2pm. I was intially told by the momma that she was born on the 15th of February, around 8am. Momma was just looking for some kind of reaction when she lied to me around midnight on the 16th. She admitted that she lied on the 23rd of February, also around midnight.

I cannot stop being amazed by the mother's lack of truth-telling, as well as disregard for doing the right thing first. I am constantly amazed how lying about something this serious has her feeling as though it is no big deal.

Through the course of our several-hour conversation on the night of the 16th, momma reveals that she does not in fact know me. Astounding. You date somebody for a year-and-a-half, and finally decide that you don't know them. You spent all this time telling them how much you love them; yet you don't know them. The lies will never stop with her; and what a class "A" sick person you are for making a man believe that you did.

On the night of the 23rd, when she revealed that she had lied about the baby's birth, she also told me some other things. She came clean that she is now aware that she has lied many times to me throughout our relationship, and admits to not knowing why she did this to me. I bit my tongue as she made another 'gifted' attempt at self-exonneration: that she treated me the way that she did because she thought that I wanted a party girl, and felt that if she would remain a party girl, that I wouldn't give up on her or us.

This is beyond sick and stupid, and just another sociopathic angle she is making to exonnerate herself from the wrong she did to me. She knows I have a consistent schedule. She knows that I get up every morning, on the weekend or not, no later than 7am. She knows that I go to sleep everynight before 11pm. She knows that my intention was for us to be married and to settle down. There are virtually no times when I wanted to go and 'kick-it' with my friends at a club.

This is her latest attempt at lying to herself, which is more dangerous than lying to others.
Have I not made this clear enough about the mother? What kind of judge can believe this woman's degree of maturity, as well as willingness to tell the truth and be a good mother?

Momma, you have just shown and proven how much of a liar you are, and how far you will take your lies to get people to believe you. You have just shown the quintessential stripper mentality by trying to 'write off' your ill treatment towards me. And if you think I will sit and do nothing to stop you from having full custody, you have another thing coming. And by the time this trial is over, you will definitively know who I am.

XenoSapien

2009-01-02T04:20:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 4/6/07]

I've spent some time thinking about the next article to write about here on the Forest. I've decided to keep it alive, and continue writing even though conversation between momma and I has been completely severed.

I decided that I would let you in on what a man that was put in my position, under this great adversity experienced the whole nine-months of the pregnancy. The following that I have written is our communication throughout the pregnancy time period:

June 2nd, 2006 Doctor's assessment 'Night of Conception'.

June 24th, 2006 Drove to Illinois, witnessed momma taking pregnancy test; 10pm Illinois time.

July 2nd, 2006 Momma lets me know of the baby's due date: Feb. 23rd, 2007.

July 17th, 2006 Momma tells me that she aborts baby.

July 18th, 2006 Had one-hour consultation with Cordell and Cordell.

July 29th, 2006 Momma tells me that the baby still lives.

July 30th, 2006 Momma tells me she will announce engagement to new boyfriend to her family.

August 11th, 2006 Momma says she accidentally called, meant to call her aunt who has my same name.

August 16th, 2006 Momma tells me that her doctor says there is a possibility of twins.

August 18th, 2006 Had long phone conversation. Made appeal to be present at moment of birth.

August 31st, 2006 Called for ultra-sound request. She refuses to mail it, but says that I have to drive to Illinois to pick it up. Agreed to come to Illinois September 9th.

September 3rd, 2006 Momma calls and says she wants me to move to Illinois. Says how nice she'll be. Almost begs; says she picks me over new boyfriend/fiance.

September 4th, 2006 Momma calls and tells me her mother has Lupus, and has one year to live. Tells me its ok if I don't move to Illinois, but she won't let the baby stay in Indianapolis overnight.

September 8th, 2006 Very emotional night. Momma explains that she only loves boyfriend as a friend and wants to give up on being pregnant.

September 9th, 2006 The day I was supposed to drive to Illinois to pick up ultra- sound picture. Instead, stayed at home and talked to her on the phone. Negative, hateful and bitchy mood as usual. Nothing in her has changed.

September 13th, 2006 Leave a 'gamble' voice message, saying that I think she is lying based on her history with me.

September 19th, 2006 Momma says she just now got my message, and tells me that I can stay away from she and her baby.

September 20th, 2006 Nasty phone conversation from the both of us. She says she will file harassment charges if I call again. I say I will file harassment charges if she calls again.

September 21st, 2006 Momma calls early morning. Harassment charges filed.

September 30th, 2006 Momma calls to tell me the sex of the baby, but assumes that I don't care to know. I remind her of the harassment charges.

November 19th, 2006 Mysterious voicemail from a 'restricted' phone number.

November 24th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at noon.

December 1st, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 2:30pm.

December 2nd, 2006 Momma calls and says she needs to tell me something about the baby; 11:30pm.

December 5th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 2:30pm.

December 6th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 1:30pm.

December 24th, 2006 Momma's youngest daughter calls to wish me a Merry Christmas; says to call mom when I get this message; 10:58pm.

December 31st, 2006 Momma calls at 5:32 am. I do not answer.

January 6th, 2007 Called momma's mom at 10am. Wanted me to not call her anymore; that the issue is between momma and I. Tells me she believes the baby to be the X-husband's. I sacrifice my harassment charges and call Momma almost an hour later. We have a two-hour discussion, and she still insists on doing it the hard way, catering the advice of her mother. Talks about moving to Atlanta or Florida.

January 12th, 2007 I call Momma again. Had discussion with no fighting. I again pursue doing all of this the easy way. She says that I should have thought of that before I stated that we would take it to court. I repeated that I only announced court because she threatened that I would never know our child. Momma agrees to allow communication once a week.

January 21st, 2007 Momma calls about the Bears and Colts in the superbowl. Stable to good conversation.

January 24th, 2007 I call momma at 10:30am Indiana time. Stable conversation. Make half-serious attempt to have her move
to Indiana. Still firm about the idea that I should have moved
to Illinois the minute I found out I was to be a father.

February 2nd, 2007 Momma calls. Stable conversation. Tells me the baby is born--then admits to just kidding around.

February 3rd, 2007 Momma calls at 12:50 am. I do not answer.

February 11th, 2007 My website "Babies As Weapons" is launched.

February 16th, 2007 Momma calls around midnight, tells me my daughter was born on the 15th. Also admits that she doesn't know me.

February 19th, 2007 I call momma. She tells me she's on the other phone, then hangs up on me.

February 21st, 2007 Momma calls around 2:30pm, but my phone says "no duration".

February 23rd, 2007 Momma calls around midnight. Admits lying about the actual date of baby's birth. Also admits that she knows she has lied to me many times. After three hours, she sends
six pictures of the baby.

February 24th, 2007 Momma calls at 1:30am. I do not answer.

********************************

I know that it is true that during the pregnancy period, the mother is on a "hormonal roller-coaster". Hence, inconsistent, erratic behavior is expected. However, if you were to read my previous posts that are all before momma's pregnancy, you'll find that her behavior is already inconsistent and erratic. There is no difference between her behavior during pregnancy or before her pregnancy.

This dangerously-wild nature is actually who she really is; the pregnancy inspired nothing but her nastiness to rise to its full potential.

XenoSapien

2009-01-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

[Actual Post Date: 4/24/07]

Dear (Momma), March 1st, 2007

I wanted to tell you that I am happy about our conversation a week ago where you openly and finally told the truth about lying throughout our relationship. It was big of you to do so, and it is nice to see that you understand that it is in fact what you did to me, and the cause of a lot of unwarranted pain.

However, it has created a nasty side-effect. By you doing so, it has confirmed each and every complaint that I made throughout this entire time that we have known each other. It is like spending a lot of time, slowly putting something together, and finally finishing it. Your revelation has given me some peace now, but I'm afraid that it has also made me so astonishingly angry and hateful, that I cannot deal with you any longer.

I have never lied to you throughout our relationship, and I will not start now. So since you finally displayed courage in coming clean with the truth, I wish to do the same for you. I told you a while back that you will always be in my heart. This is an unchangeable fact, as I have told you that all women that are special to me are located there. Unfortunately in your case, you occupy the most nasty, black, hateful, angry and disgusting part of my heart. All of my anger, frustration, hatred, rage and boorishness now has a name--it is momma.

I cannot believe that you have had the courage to yet again say something so sickening. Admitting that you do wrong first, but by your own words, "eventually tell the truth". This is exactly what a sociopath does, momma. You have made me so extremely angry now, that I can no longer bring myself to communicating with you any longer. I am now wholly convinced that from here onward, no matter what comes out of your mouth, it is likely going to be a lie. I was so hopeful that you would escape that behavior, but after two years, you still do it. You are not as mature as you say you have become now.

Since my hatred for you is so overwhelming, here is what I want you to know and do: First, I suggest that you have your lawyer examine this document. Second, ask your lawyer how I can submit DNA without traveling to Illinois, for I am in fear that going there will be setting myself up to be beaten up by your hostile family members.

Third, request of your lawyer to send papers that will allow me to sign away all of my rights in regards to Anna. My anger is so total and definitive, that I wish to no longer even hear your voice, or know anything about you from here on to my own death. I find you totally repulsive, mentally unstable and untrustworthy, and I feel that you will be nothing but nasty towards me for the next 18 years.

I highly suggest that you accept my offer. You will have all the power over our child like you wanted. I am going ahead and giving you what I know you want. If for any reason, you wish to contact me, you must do it only through email, as I will no longer accept phone calls from you. I am sick to death of you calling past 11pm, knowing full well that I go to sleep early. It is rude for you to do so, and I am tired of it. Many times in the past, I would call you very early in the morning, and it would piss you off. So please extend the same curtousey.

When this all started, all I wanted us to do was to work as a team, but teamwork is nothing you have ever cared for doing with me. You ultimately want everything done exactly your way, and I am now offering you this opportunity. So I must say clearly, that if you do not do these things, I will ask my father's attorney to make sure that this happens. Our daughter will be yours, and you will win. You will win, momma.

I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night, sick to death with worry about Anna, and hating her mother of whom I do not trust; and tired of only tears putting me back to sleep.

Remember when the X-hubby and I confronted you about lying about your marital status? Remember what I told you in my car, and occassionally throughout the rest of our relationship? That I did not have full trust in you, and that you needed to earn it back. Not only have you not earned it back, but you have proven to not care to even get any of it back, despite the serious issue of an innocent child being involved. I cannot request that this changes in you any longer. I no longer care.

I am not giving up on our daughter; I am giving up on you.

I think that you are an evil, vindictive, worthless piece of shit of which I could care less if you get hit by a bus or choke on (new boyfriend's) dick. You must pat yourself on the back, because you are now my most hated person on the entire planet earth. I have irreversible damage done by you, and it will not go away. I am in fear that by you remaining in my life, I will never heal from this.

This is why I no longer want anything from you. I think you are sick, need a deep psychological investigation, and placed in a padded room. Not to be mean, but rather, to tell my true feelings and assessment of you. I think you are not human, and the first time I called your mother after you said you were pregnant, she supported me when I said that you showed signs of a sociopath, a psychotic, someone with borderline personality and bi-polarism. She told me that it was all in your medical files.

I no longer have a desire to withstand the same kind of psychological punishment you administered over this two-year period for the next 18 years. Congratulations, you are now entirely free to lie to yourself, others and even our daughter without any interference from me.

Having me believe Anna was dead for 12 days is terminally sickening. You can lie to yourself all you wish that you didn't mean it in a sickening manner, when in fact the records will show that you did. Regardless, this is a classic sociopathic statement and purely evil.

I now have also realized that I told you the truth that I'm really not mad at you for what you have admitted to doing to me throughout our relationship. You have confirmed that you are a very sick person who only deserves my utter hatred. And it is sad that you will use a baby as a bargaining tool, a whip, and most importantly, as a weapon.

I also recall a time when you questioned "what have I done" with regards to your pregnancy. Since you initially demanded to keep me out of it all, I put together a plan. I saved my money for a nice computer. I finally had the lay-a-way paid completely off in 1.5 months, and took my computer home. I went officially online in mid-to-late September of 2006.

After 'plinking' around for about a week or so, I found a blogger site program. I signed up, and started writing blogs. While I wrote my blogs, I also did the following:

What I Have Done For Nine Months...
(no particular order)

1) Made contact with Illinois Legal Services. Was told that they do not help those that are not Illinois citizens.

2) Made contact with Indiana Legal Services. Was initially ignored. Then told that they do not have jurisdiction.

3) Made contact with Illinois Pro-Bono Services. Ignored.

4) Made contact with Indiana Pro-Bono Services. Told that Indiana does not have jurisdiction.

5) Made contact with Indiana Attorney General's Office. Responded to within two weeks. Told that they could do nothing because of jurisdiction, but offered ideas.

6) Made contact with Illinois Attorney General's Office. Initially ignored. Then after about five months and after Anna's birth, sent by snail-mail, a list of people who may help, but they are people who have already ignored me, or have told me that I am not an Illinois citizen.

7) Made contact with Community Legal via online. Signed up, and was told they would help me. They never made me a client and took my money for no services rendered. They were fired.

8) Made multiple attempts for online free legal advice; most of which were returned as unanswered.

9) Contacted by phone and fax, Maury Povich. Was told to get a public defender, then was hung up on.

10) Sent letter to local newspaper to the "Dear Annie" section. Ignored and never responded to or printed.

11) Sent letter to Pastor John Hagee about my situation. Responded to with helpful prayers and hope.

12) Sent mass emails to multiple custody attorney's in Illinois. Three out of twenty responded. Only one offered help at 500$ as a retainer. Have not re-contacted the only one who offered this help. Cannot afford services.

13) Spent countless hours on research of the Illinois custody laws in pursuit of self-representation and the Illinois law.

14) Spent countless hours on research of the Indiana custody laws in pursuit of self-representation and the Indiana law.

15) Signed up for the Illinois Putative Father Registry; in fear, as stated by you, that you would allow boyfriend to adopt our child.

16) Signed up for the Indiana Putative Father Registry; in fear, as stated by you, that you would allow boyfriend to adopt our child.

17) Contacted National Brotherhood of Father's Rights. Recieved mass emails about possible options and helpful tools. Could not afford actual services, but thankful about options.

18) Contacted private investigator to check into whether or not mother was pregnant. Could not afford services.

19) Contacted the law offices of Cordell and Cordell. Had one-hour counsiltation with attorney. Could not afford services.

20) Created blogsite:
http://www.xenosapienprl.blogspot.com/

21) Created Website:
http://www.xenosapien.com

22) Paid friend to draw the following picture:
[See main picture above]

Lastly, I must inform you that if you and your lawyer submit this email to any judge, it could be unwise, as you will be admitting all of these things as fact, and this could lead to many nasty outcomes on your end.

If this email has made you angry to the point where you wish to take the law in your own hands, like you have already threatened to do, and send family members after me for a "beating", please let them know the following:

There are two befriended Sherriff's where I live. One of whom has been briefed on my situation, and lives in the very next building to mine. He is only one phone call away, and usually home.

Let who you send to do your dirty work (of which you have a history of making people do, including your own daughters) know that my County jail is one of the worst county jails in the entire country. And from what I've been told, a bullet in the head is far more preferred by those who have spent time there.

Also, let who you send know that I have a military friend who has many friends who materialize out of thin air, and their revenge will be guaranteed swift and decisive.

Also, make sure that you are aware that you have active harassment charges on you here in Indiana Sherriff's Department, September twenty-first, 2006.

Momma
-Legal History Overview-
1997-2006

[ Momma's criminal record can be found on here in the article starting with, "I realize that it has been a while since I've written a new post."]

Plans I Made:

Plan A Make an appeal to do all of this as a team.

Plan B Fight for full-custody.

Plan C Prove her unfit; fight for full-custody.

Plan D Prove her unfit; fight to put child up for adoption.

Plan E Sign away all of my rights.

The final bottom line is this, momma, mother to our daughter Anna: I'm not interested in the opinion of the Court of Man; for I will be vindicated in the Court of God.

XenoSapien